Bachelor in Paradise: Week 4 - Why does everyone love Jared?

This recap may largely be a rant on WHY EVERYONE'S OVARIES ARE EXPLODING OVER JARED? I don't understand. I thought he was somewhat nice-ish on Kaitlyn's season - but that was ages ago and BOY has that changed. Ever since he arrived on Bachelor In Paradise last season, I seriously have not understood the appeal. 

                                                        GIRL YOU NEED TO CHILL

                                                        GIRL YOU NEED TO CHILL

YES we all know Ashley can expunge an oasis of tears over anything/anyone she forms a strong attachment to; but Jared?! Ashley, you have a quirky personality, and by quirky I mean way better than Caila's, and SICK makeup skillz. Her hair isn't THAT much better than yours. And your date with Daniel was 10x more entertaining than Caila and Jared's dull AF conversations (let's ignore the highly inapprops and uncomfortable "virgin" sacrifice for now). You can do SO MUCH BETTER, and based on the previews, I am right. And so was Nick Viall. Can we please give him some props for being so direct to someone who simply has no ability to see reason? 

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SOMEONE HAS to do this to Evan, too. Please. Anyone? Your ankles hurt so you invite the chick who has clearly said she's not that into you to the hospital? Yeah? How's that working for you? I really don't know how long I can continue to stomach Evan's delusion and Carly's simultaneous ENCOURAGEMENT of such behavior. Initially, she may have been direct, but now, she's being straight up despo and confusing us along with herself. Come on, girl - make a decision and tell him to his face vs. telling the cameras how weirded out you are by Evan. What even is this "relationship" stemmed by fake/imminent health issues?

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We need Chad back for the commentary, people. I also can't help but literally pull the hair out of my head when conversations (producer edits) only highlight general interest in the other person. Example: Nick and Jen. I'm almost positive that Jen, a small business owner, and Nick, Account Executive at SalesForce (or Regular Franchise Contestant at this point), are capable of much more interesting conversation than what we saw. But alas all they did was compliment each other, make out in the sand among crabs, and thank each other for going on this date. Still shipping #SaViall

And this episode was only an hour so thanks a lot ABC. Now I have nothing to do but wait eagerly for the new arrivals to break up Grace and Vizzy. UGH. Who's coming thru besides Wells? In other news, I realized who'd have been the perfect BIP companion for Daniel:

                            Think she's taken now. Bad timing, wrong season. DAMNIT.

                            Think she's taken now. Bad timing, wrong season. DAMNIT.