5 Major Questions I Had After Watching Stranger Things

THIS SHOW IS EVERYTHING. I loved how it touched on a bit of 80s nostalgia/paranoia, sci-fi, coming of age stories, familial relationships, the meaning of friendship, early romance, and a general curiosity that should never die with age. Mr. Clarke for President, y'all.

I watched it all in an 8 hour period and lost sleep that night from being scared of turning my bathroom light on and off, so there's that.

Please don't read on if you don't want any spoilers. Here are my five major questions I have after watching Stranger Things (I may be missing a few). Here we go:

1. What on earth is happening to Will?

The minute Will got up, went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and got a flashback to the Upside Down, my skin crawled. I binge-watched this show from about 2PM to 2AM, so you can imagine that a cliffhanger that occurs in a BATHROOM is definitely not fun before going to bed. I was so creeped out by the fact that he still has this "view" of everything from how it was in the Upside Down world; the shadow world, as described by Dungeons and Dragons, is basically the WORST version of what we currently see and live in, but colder, darker, and more depressing. Nice. So poor Will has to constantly be reminded of his time there at the ripe age of 11-ish AND cough up little slugs? Is he turning into the demagorgon? Or is he slowly dying because GOD ONLY KNOWS how he survived after they pulled out that giant leech thing out of his mouth/entire body. Plus, why wouldn't he tell his Mom, the sole person who believed, supported and fought for him from the start? To not worry her? I guess that's believable but truth's about to come out soon, son. You can't just go "wash your hands" everyday to cough up slugs and get flashbacks of your almost-death-zone. 

2. Why did Hopper leave those Eggo Waffles out there?

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What is the deal with Eleven?! I guess Hopper made some sick deal with the lab to get him and Joyce into the gate's opening, but how does that account for the possible survival of Eleven? So many questions around this because it give us HOPE and definitely makes me want more; Hopper was one of the best characters out there, plus we got to see his flashbacks only towards the end. Eleven was also a huge question mark; I get that she "thought" Mr. Brenner was her new Dad after some sort of brainwashing, but her history is still a giant question mark; how did she open the gate; what did the monster from the other side do to make her go insane in that bath; did she use her powers to literally envision a place so far (not Russia, or the nearby woods) that it was, in fact, the other side? Aka she's like a flea vs. an acrobat and can use her mind without the portal? Who was Eleven before she got taken away from her Mom?

3. How come nobody cares about Barb?

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This got me so mad. Of course Nancy eventually caught on to Barb's disappearance but her own Mom barely cared the way Joyce did re: Will, even on TV/their news stations - so even if the State covers up a missing child via a car, like she ran away, we have overwhelming evidence of why she wouldn't do something like that. Where's the search party? Why is her mom not relentless like Joyce. We're shown nothing of this because Will's disappearance is the "main" plot connector? Nope, sorry, I won't accept it. And I'm devastated how Eleven just said "gone" and Nancy had to just deal without as much of a bout of remorse for essentially telling her to go home so she could be EATEN by the faceless monster. I'm not saying it's Nancy's FAULT, but if I were in her shoes, as a character, I'd feel so guilty and probably associate my friend's disappearance with the same popular kid who invited me up to his room. How she can stomach Steve despite Barb's incident is beyond me; again, not saying she doesn't have the right, it just doesn't sit well with me that it wasn't further developed emotionally.

4. Is Mrs. Wheeler still so unaware?

I swear, she was all confused and stereotypical Mom-in-her-bubble throughout the series; and even when she finally realizes that her son is a part of this huge debacle (you'd think something would click when he's able to predict the "bad men" coming to their house), she doesn't seem to budge. She cares about the safety of her children than anything else, which of course is important and natural; however, she doesn't seem to delve deeper. It's just TOO one-dimensional for me; if there's another season I'd love to see more involvement from her in terms of overall curiosity. She should have so many questions! Like why her son housed Eleven, why the lab came to her house, why Joyce was right about prioritizing the Christmas lights over casserole... the list goes on. I think she played a great role in trying to be her childrens' safety net and confidante, but clearly that approach didn't work (and wouldn't for most kids that age). She could, believe it or not, learn a thing or two from Joyce.

5. Why is Nancy with Steve? 

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Save me the "oh, but he's a good guy and really cares about her," because I'm not questioning his affection for her or his moral compass (or lack thereof). He just seems so reactionary, when it came to immediately bullying another guy and masking it as protection, supporting his friend in spray painting slut only to later on realize how wrong it is, assuming the worst of Nancy without having a conversation first. Yeah, I know they're young and we're probably all guilty of the same mistakes; and, in a way, it did make the plot a bit realistic. I think that Nancy has more potential with Jonathan though; sure it'd have been cliche if they ended up together, so that was refreshingly different, but their arguments with each other and unconditional support was developed over time and I was a total sap for it. He did have a somewhat fair point about her being "someone who she wasn't" during that get together (party?) at Steve's house; I think she was being herself in that she was exploring her limits and curious for new experiences, but when your best friend is doubtful of your actions and lack of responsibility, there's reasonable room for concern. Plus Barb totes just got eaten alive and transported into the shadow world because of it. So, Team Jonathan and Nancy here.

My opinions are never written in stone, so feel free to sound off below in the comments and let me know your questions or general thoughts on the show!

I'll leave off with one of my favorite quotes:

Science is neat, but I’m afraid it’s not very forgiving
— Mr. Clarke

Bachelor in Paradise: Week 4 - Why does everyone love Jared?

This recap may largely be a rant on WHY EVERYONE'S OVARIES ARE EXPLODING OVER JARED? I don't understand. I thought he was somewhat nice-ish on Kaitlyn's season - but that was ages ago and BOY has that changed. Ever since he arrived on Bachelor In Paradise last season, I seriously have not understood the appeal. 

                                                        GIRL YOU NEED TO CHILL

                                                        GIRL YOU NEED TO CHILL

YES we all know Ashley can expunge an oasis of tears over anything/anyone she forms a strong attachment to; but Jared?! Ashley, you have a quirky personality, and by quirky I mean way better than Caila's, and SICK makeup skillz. Her hair isn't THAT much better than yours. And your date with Daniel was 10x more entertaining than Caila and Jared's dull AF conversations (let's ignore the highly inapprops and uncomfortable "virgin" sacrifice for now). You can do SO MUCH BETTER, and based on the previews, I am right. And so was Nick Viall. Can we please give him some props for being so direct to someone who simply has no ability to see reason? 

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SOMEONE HAS to do this to Evan, too. Please. Anyone? Your ankles hurt so you invite the chick who has clearly said she's not that into you to the hospital? Yeah? How's that working for you? I really don't know how long I can continue to stomach Evan's delusion and Carly's simultaneous ENCOURAGEMENT of such behavior. Initially, she may have been direct, but now, she's being straight up despo and confusing us along with herself. Come on, girl - make a decision and tell him to his face vs. telling the cameras how weirded out you are by Evan. What even is this "relationship" stemmed by fake/imminent health issues?

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We need Chad back for the commentary, people. I also can't help but literally pull the hair out of my head when conversations (producer edits) only highlight general interest in the other person. Example: Nick and Jen. I'm almost positive that Jen, a small business owner, and Nick, Account Executive at SalesForce (or Regular Franchise Contestant at this point), are capable of much more interesting conversation than what we saw. But alas all they did was compliment each other, make out in the sand among crabs, and thank each other for going on this date. Still shipping #SaViall

And this episode was only an hour so thanks a lot ABC. Now I have nothing to do but wait eagerly for the new arrivals to break up Grace and Vizzy. UGH. Who's coming thru besides Wells? In other news, I realized who'd have been the perfect BIP companion for Daniel:

                            Think she's taken now. Bad timing, wrong season. DAMNIT.

                            Think she's taken now. Bad timing, wrong season. DAMNIT.

The Bachelorette Recap - WEEK 4: The demise of Chad

THE END OF THE CHAD SAGA

OMG GUYS, Chad's gonna break into the house. Chad's whistling in the woods! He's gonna break Jordan's face! Did you see the previews last week?!?!

So the producers tried to create a serial killer cliffhanger, etching into our minds the beautiful visual of Chad running his fingers down a glass pane, and failed MISERABLY. The most physical/violent action we get from Chad is an index finger nudge into Jordan's head. I'm disappointed.

Bachelorette-Chad

The most anticlimactic confrontation that all of us losers (not you? ok, just me) waited TWO WHOLE WEEKS for ended up being as lame, if not worse, than every other “altercation” we've seen (why everyone was hellbent on using this term during Evan’s de-shirting is still beyond me). The most pleasure I got was from Chad asking Evan whether he’s BROKE when he begs to be compensated for his shirt yet again. "Don't you have a bunch of d**k companies?" - Chad

Chad does a weird spin-curtsy thing and dips, giving zero Fs as he packs his bag for the cesspool that is Bachelor in Paradise. We can’t wait.

If I was one of the guys I’d probably leave with Chad to go grab protein-infused drinks (is vodka a protein?) instead of hang out with a bunch of lames rubbing their faces in cake while stroking Alex’s ego. 

Alex has accomplished the nuanced art of talking sh*t and got rewarded by 1) a few kisses from the woman who’s literally kissed everyone on the show and 2) twelve guys eagerly waiting for a celebratory pillow fight in honor of Chad’s demise. WAS IT WORTH IT ALEX?

MINI-CHADS: ROSE CEREMONY PT. I

Evan decides to make the entire rose ceremony about his bursting heart and starts talking about the threat of mini-chads, or “multiple small enemies to create The Chad” ...whatever that means. I think all these mini-chads are going to give you your 47th nose bleed, Evan.

"The guys who are so compassionate for Jojo are all of a sudden cutthroat" - Evan, aka someone who's never watched The Bachelorette. Where's Bachelor Superfan when you need him?

All the guys start putting their effort into "getting one on one time with Jojo" aka sucking her face off. I find it a bit sad that the guy who gets interrupted during his poem (James something?) and Canadian Daniel who also gets interrupted, BOTH end up getting eliminated. 

I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE KEEPS PICKING EVAN. SOMEONE, TELL ME. IN THE WORDS OF CHAD, "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY VIBIN' THIS DUDE?"

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Cut to everyone making me uncomfortable by screaming "Uruguay!" It's like these guys have never seen another country. Ugh, I miss Chad already.

YOU-ROO-GWAY

"We're staying at a place called the Grand Hotel, and it is grand. It's awesome." - Robby

Date card: Jordan, let's 'seal' the deal.

*crickets*

Everyone has anxiety over the fact that Jordan gets the one-on-one. Derek decides to stereotype Jordan as a football player who is untrustworthy. Wells says he just wants another stamp on his passport. Someone comments on his hair-flip. I start to drown myself in my sorrows because insults from Chad would have been 100x more satisfying. 

I always thought I've had my fair share of downward-spiraling in the past. Until I heard these guys commenting on Jojo having a twinkle in her eye for Jordan .... ALL the way to assumptions that she's still in love with her ex. I think these guys decided to collectively chuck anything known as confidence, sanity, or dignity out of the window. Well done.

#JOJORDAN

LOL this is such a recipe for disaster. Jojo desperately asks Jordan about his past. Let's be honest, he does not look 100% genuine when he responds. Or he's just nervous AF. I'm pretty gullible, so who knows. Also, she brings up how he said "falling for you" last time, and "falling in love" this time -- and says there's a big difference. I think we could all see Jordan's brain was unable to discern and quickly spit out an "I know."

CHAD'S BACK. NO, THE OTHER ONE. 

OK, I feel kind of bad for Jojo here. It probably isn't easy to have things printed about you airing out your dirty laundry or any other falsities.

BUT, I have to call this out. Jojo cries and says "that was the truest form of love I've ever felt" in reference to Ben. I just can't imagine that 6 weeks with someone was the truest form of love she's ever experienced. But I know that she probably saw what it was like to be with someone healthy vs. destructive, so I'll refrain from drinking the haterade. Hopefully we don't have 'Chad' as a drinking game term in the show anymore, or we'd all be getting our stomachs pumped.

Group Date Highlights, or Highlows... or Low lows:
- Evan references his nosebleed problems.
- The men all drool over how Jojo is "smokin hot."
- Derek transforms into a jealous broody version of Jim Halpert.
- We watch James T(?) enter the friend zone as he lays awkward pecks on a hesitant Jojo.
- Jojo says "yesterday was possibly one of the worst nights of my life" as my eyes roll to the back of my head.
- Alex starts to hate someone again and talk our ears off about it. Kill me now.

ROBBY AND JOJO EAT A BITE OF A SANDWICH

Nobody ever eats on this show and it makes me depressed. I'd be that person who just sits behind them and screams YOU GONNA EAT THAT? and grab their "authentic yooroogway sandwiches" and shovel it into my mouth. Meanwhile in the house, the guys start calculating the meaning of the number of roses and it all goes over my head. Can't they just keep going to the spa and calm TF down? 

Robby: "I've fallen in love with you, Jojo."
Jojo: "Thank you so much."
Robby: "Love is a mutual thing."

ROSE CEREMONY PT. II

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The boys have another care bear fest about a high school clique or something, and Alex starts hurling insults towards Derek, in a very Chad-esque form, but it just doesn't work as well when it comes out of his mouth. Maybe because he thought he was such a benevolent hero in earlier episodes, and now he smells of hypocrisy. Also, there have been literally tons of people who have pulled the whole "we had a date and I'm afraid we'll lose our connection" who end up with a pity rose. AMIRITE? Bachelor superfan, where you at?

Evan: I wanna be a freakin' front runner! Chad owes me a freakin' shirt! MY FREAKIN' NOSE IS BLEEDING!

Snooki-Wah-Whining


Luke, Chase, Alex (ugh), James and Wells get a rose.

Looks like we're saying BOY BYE to Evan, Vinny and Grant. They all cry over a woman who has shown them the exotic adventures of sand surfing, football dueling, and firefighting. I can do without these guys, especially since they're taking Evan and Vinny's haircut along with them.

Next week we have a new name for our drinking game: Jordan.