It's been a long time since I've published anything to this blog. I've lazily posted a few things on Instagram, but I've simply not kept up with creating meaningful content for any semblance of a readership I may or may not have. I felt like writing out the numerous explanations (not excuses) for why I haven't been blogging. Just like choosing to create this blog was a conscious decision, I've also made multiple decisions to prioritize other things over blogging, which have made me upset at times, disappointed in myself, and just overwhelmed -- because I'm not creating anything exciting anymore. And I want to start trying again. The last thing I want is for blogging to become a chore, and I don't yet think I'm at that point because I still have a lot of ideas that I'd truly like to share! So here is a list of why I stopped (just to air it out and be real):
1. MAKING THE TIME
I'm actually writing this on a lunch break as we speak. Here's the thing -- blogging takes time. I need to organize the content vs. just publish any sort of verbal diarrhea. I also struggle to take pictures and edit them in a consistent manner where I'm posting regularly.
I also love my day job. It was easier to make time for my side passion when my head and heart weren't 100% into my day job, or when I found myself needing a creative outlet more often. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to share other creative ideas or tips, but when my brain's more into my 9-5, it's hard to switch gears as often as I'd been able to before.
I think this is something that needs to be done consciously and properly in order for true change and commitment to posting more often.
2. FEAR OF FAILURE
I'm not afraid to admit that I'm ... well, afraid. It's easy to see other successful bloggers put their heart and soul into their platforms and content creation and feel inadequate. Sometimes I've fallen into thoughts of "Oh, well she already posted a tutorial on this. Why should I? Will it be any better?" or "Wow, she looks stunning. She's in such great shape. I'm not near where I want to be so what's the point of taking pictures of this outfit?"
But here's the thing -- content can be unique because it's YOU that's unique. And I need to tell myself that more often. I view multiple tutorials on the same things because I'm interested in that particular blogger or influencer's vibe or life or attitude. So why should I compare myself and fear anything? There's nothing to lose. Post a picture that doesn't go with the rest of my Instagram feed? Who cares! It sounds sillier when I reflect on it and think about it out loud.
3. TOO MANY INTERESTS
I know, I know. Who says having too many interests is a bad thing? It's not! But sometimes I feel stretched so thin that I'm thinking about posting about something one day, and something completely different another day. When I feel stretched across so many potential topics mentally, it becomes hard to deliberately focus on one topic at a time, or truly form a niche or theme for my blog or platforms. There are so many help articles or guides about focusing your blog, or picking a theme you're good at and sticking with it -- but with my personality, that's freaking hard! And it's OK.
It's OK if I want to talk over and over about Bollywood and then snap back to my favorite mascara another day. I can give myself the freedom to post something "random," as long as I truly care about it. That's all that matters. When you really care about what you're talking about or creating content for, it shouldn't matter. So screw those articles, because I can't help it. The great thing is that platforms like Instagram help you diversify the things you talk about in your stories, etc. - so that's definitely something I can get better at and utilize so I don't feel all over the place.
4. LIVING IN THE MOMENT
Sounds cheesy, right? What does this even mean? I'll tell you. Sometimes, when I'm having a sweet moment with Anup and laughing over something silly like missing my straw when I'm having a drink, I forget to even take a picture or boomerang of it. And then I think back of all the times I could have captured content, but was too busy cracking up or singing or enjoying the road trip instead of editing pictures on my phone and queueing them up for posts. It's a part of real life.
And now, I'm pregnant. I see all these beautiful announcement posts from influencers about their journeys, but with all the initial sickness and even the excitement of celebrating the news with family, I haven't really gotten around to posting about it or sharing it with a platform. It doesn't mean I don't have some fun tips or pieces of my journey that I wouldn't like to share. I just get easily caught up in the moment too often where I don't sit and reflect and share. I'd like to do this more often, because the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.
5. FEELING FAKE
This is going to sound bizarre. I always want to feel genuine and share authentic content at all times. But sometimes this world of blogging doesn't make you feel like you're operating that way when you have to filter photos, add captions, and talk about the content you're sharing. I sometimes write a caption, stare at it and think to myself "WTF, you don't even talk like that." And then I hate it, because my content feels cookie-cutter, bland, and completely inauthentic. Sometimes, if I truly had to be honest, my caption would be "Did that thing where I made Anup retake this photo for the 4th time because my hairtie was on my arm." And I've done that sometimes. But I think I need to be that real that much more often (for myself and so that I feel comfortable in what I'm sharing). Otherwise it starts to feel like I'm brainstorming content that is just not at all how I talk or type to my friends. And then my blogging life feels like a distant thing, vs. a true outlet that is close to me and representative of my true day to day.
If you made it this far -- thanks for reading. I genuinely think airing all of this out makes me feel better to try to blog again and feel good doing it. I'm definitely open to hearing other people's thoughts, tips or ideas for how to tackle the above issues that I've come across time and time again over the past year. Excited to start anew and share some fun content along the way.